Thread:ScottFitgerald/@comment-3974095-20130119230700

With episode summaries, we like to have it very detailed. Play-by-play. Though, with character bios, we like to have a shorter version. With your Sinestro edit, it's very long. Along with your Hal Jordan edit. That's why I reverted it. My mistake if you got offended. With character bios you shouldn't go into every single detail within the episode. You make a shorter summarization in character bios, so for example, not that you've done this, but for example, if you were writing a summary for "Blue Hope" for Hal's page, you wouldn't add that Aya ran off with the Manhunter and had a discussion with it in a cave. It'll digress from Hal's involvement. For Sinestro, as a character that just appear, shouldn't have such a big bio already. So, to keep everything, equal and organized, I'll have to ask you if you could possibly rewrite it or I could do it. Also, not a critique, but just some advice, try to not to write choppy sentences. I don't have an exact example, but I've seen it before. Sometime, if you make it choppy, the reader won't understand who's doing what or who is who. Just be a bit clearer. Something to keep in mind. 